Saw this posted on a for sale page on Faceache.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
One Hadron Collider for sale. I don't have the remote control anymore, but then again I never knew how to work the fukin thing in the first place, however, I bought a 'All In One' remote so try your luck and see if you survive...I think it smashes shit together like a violent sewer system ya know but not sure as there is a black hole in my living room demanding attention. £24.76 OVNO...or...a bottle of Lambrini as that shit fuks you up. Here are some details about this piece of shit...um...awesome tech for you to decide to give me more than it's worth:1. It cost £2.6bn to build - cheaper than my gas bill
2. It houses 9300 magnets – pre-cooled to -193.2C, using 10,080 tonnes of liquid nitrogen. They are then taken down to -271.3C with liquid helium. - Helium makes your voice funny and we are running out of it...funny voices are God in our world !
3. It fires protons and lead ions around a 17mile circular tunnel. - Lead used to be food in my day !
4. The protons, when the machine is cranked up to full power, travel at a mind-blowing 99.9999991% of the speed of light – or 11,245 laps every second – or 671,000,000 mph. - My taxi takes 22 minutes all in !
5. 600m collisions take place every second. - I used to collide with my ex 601 times a second !
6. The collisions generate temperatures more than 100,000 times hotter than the heart of the Sun. - or, the same as Jeremy Kyle's face !
7. The inside of the accelerator is an ultra-high vacuum – a cavity as empty as interplanetary space. This is so the protons avoid collisions with gas molecules. - Dyson...nuff said !
8. A total of 10,000 scientists and engineers from more than 60 countries work on LHC. - Yet they all hate each other...go figure ?
9. The most powerful supercomputer system in the world was built to analyse the data generated by the LHC. It’s called the Grid and is formed from tens of thousands of interconnected computers scattered around the world. The data recorded by each of the big experiments at the LHC will fill around 100,000 dual-layer DVDs every year. Not as good as my Spectrum 48K so fuk them !
10. There’s even an LHC rap, which pretty much explains everything - It goes like this: We're LHC, we like to be by the sea.............it fukin rhymes !
